Mastodon

Since Atlanta has decided to be freakish and have winter weather, and since I know I have readers from the frozen north, I thought I’d share my meager knowledge and hope for comments.

Snow:

When I was moving to Virginia, I asked my Mom for driving in the snow advice. (She’s from Michigan.) She said, “Just remember that you can never use your brakes, ever, for any reason, and you’ll be fine.” I interpreted this as meaning I should slow the fuck down and try to coast to a stop. It seemed to work. Do remember, however, that your fellow drivers may not have the benefits of my mother’s wisdom and avoid them accordingly.

Ice:

My mother’s advice times ten. If the ground is a solid sheet of ice you can’t walk on, stay home. No one can drive on that shit, and you don’t need eggs and milk that badly. Besides, they’re already sold out.

Visibility:

Bad visibility scares the crap out of me. If it’s slippery you can slow down, but if you can’t see, you can’t see.

Ice Scrapers:

These probably can’t be had south of the Mason-Dixon line. My mother always used a particularly hated credit card.

The floor is now open for comments, but please remember that we have no snow plows and our “sand trucks” are pickups with sand, shovels, and two DOT guys in the back.

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This